Random thoughts

My 500th and most labored blog entry is still under construction so most definitely, this one would be my last until I could post it. Since I have no one to resort to, I'll just blab all my random crazy thoughts here on Multiply. What's a blog for, anyway? Speaking of, if you're just gonna "make lait" and "make api" my blog entries, better not take time reading it. You know who you are and if you're gonna talk about this over the phone again, I'm so gonna kill you Mister Know-It-All! There's just this person who I really find so agitating because he brags all the time about how wonderful his first blog entry is. While mine just talks about how my day went and such. C'mon, why care so much?

Random Thought Number 1
I miss the oomph alcohol gives me. I haven't been drinking for a month now. Like, "whattttt?" An effortless seppuku right thar. I was planning to chug down the only bottle of vodka left on our fridge, but I'm sick, and will definitely pass on it. I miss Bords and our nights, really.

Random Thought Number 2
Pia Derez is in desperate need of someone who will make her happy. By that, I don't necessarily mean a boy friend. HECK NO. I want a best boyfriend, or a hoax of an older brother, or someone who'll pull off the forgotten responsibilities of my "supposed to be number one guy in the world". For the record, it's none of them boys I have liked/loved/whatever. To give you peace, it's my father. So yeah. I've always looked for a father figure in every man I come across with; it's best explained by the emptiness I feel. Wow, how deep. As of this moment, all I really want is a GUY (with muscles, man boobs, Adams apple) to stand up for me, to fight with me, to kick the ass of the jerk who broke my heart. At the end of the day, despite all the bullying and kicking and punching, that guy will choose me over anyone else. I want to be his number one friend.. For now. Ain't it obvious who I'm talking about? Duh.

Random Thought Number 3
And speaking of that "for now" effect up there.. I have come to decide that I'll wait until my academics are no longer on the rocks before I enter a serious relationship. There's this person (who happens to be very special) and he just made me realize how I should consider my priorities. There are just so many wonderful things in the world that I have blown over, primarily because of the thought of how amazing it is to love. Yes, it really is. It makes you smile, makes you happy, makes you feel like all the dreams you were having at night happens in real life. Also, it makes you think that all things have fallen into place. But really, no.. Not yet. Mom has always been right that I'm still young; I have so many more years to dwell on relationships, social life, and "fun". Love, it'll still come anytime during/after college. But every school year just happens once. I don't want to take Chemistry forever. And I just don't want to go to school for the sake of studying and getting allowance and seeing hot guys, I want to learn. I want to excel. :)

Random Thought Number 4
Count 100 luxury cars, after that 50 planes.. FLYING and the first person who will give me something yellow is I don't know. The one, the right one, the perfect one, per se. This is nonsense.. A bit contrary to my 3rd random thought. But since someone gave me an idea, I'll do this for fun!

Goodnight. Til my 500th blog. Love, Pi.

What's good about summer, eh?

I told myself, I can never be caught talking with my blatant seatmates. So out of boredom from my sucky Math class, I came up with the dis and advantages of failing. Wohow.

I always thought summer at UST calls for celebration. First off, people made me believe that I’ll be surrounded by hot looking guys with average minds. Sa tagalog, mga gwapong bagsak. :)) But when I entered our school grounds, my hottie detector didn’t even make a “wang” sound. Well, except for The One. Pssh. I also had a misconception that I’ll have more savings since there are almost 30 days added on my mother’s budget. But my goodness, I never even had a taste of pleasure and happiness!! Mom only gives me money for my fare! I ended up paying for all my necessities – food, cheap thrill over the internet, suspense from L4D, and cellphone load. =| Now, I’m one step away from my average social life. =| What a perfect loser I could be.

How could I forget the main reason why I no longer want to fail.. It’s because of the intemperate amount of heat summer has to offer. I’ll most prolly die ‘cause of DIEhydration. How come the sun never gets tired? Can it just cool down even for a while?

Contrary to that, summer classes still have a good side. I know.. I myself can’t believe it either. Who would’ve have thought that I’ll find reasons to enjoy my 30-ish could-be-hell days. For three main reasons:

• I gain new friends. And I get to expose myself to better opportunities. If you get what I mean, HAHAHA. Now I have tons of friends from Engineering and I have met UST’s best fag, Alma! – The persons who knows how to take the irritation away. HAHA.
• Next is I have learned to appreciate the little things that didn’t matter to me before.. CHEAP THRILLS. =)) I no longer indulge myself with expensive food from school and I finally learned the art of saving! Every centavo counts, indeed. At least, I’d be able to buy that sexy dress from Zara. (Therese’s debut, alert!)
• Finally, the best reason to enjoy this season is by finding your true self. Yes, I was able to get to know myself deeper. What I really need, what I really feel, and what my heart truly wants. I was able to set higher standards for myself and finally came to a realization that I should never settle for less. Never knew that St. Raymund’s building could be a place for reflection, eh?

Hence, I have made a declaration that I WILL CHANGE. It’s because I want a better version of myself to spring up – if not the best. No – I neither have intentions of pleasing everyone nor changing my personality for the guy I like. I just want to do this for myself, to make me happy, even just for once. Who knows, more people might like me and finally, The One will see the beauty in me (Ay ang cheesy!).

After all, summer classes are not just about taking up (again) your academic failures. It’s about enjoying what this season has to offer and taking a leap from the crappy past to a brighter future.. School Year 2009-2010. :) It’s not just really learning the importance of every variable or every mathematical operation but also the art of looking for a better new you. 

Just enjoy – whether you’re at the beach, at theme parks, or at UST. Have a happy summer just like me! :)

Self-proclaimed saint

Saint Pia of Santo Tomas (?)
Minutes ago, I did a little bit of brainwork and I pondered over how my holy week was.. so far.

Palm Sunday
Being late is truly our nature. We missed almost 20 minutes of the mass. We had no choice but to stay since it's the last Eucharistic service in our vicinity. 6 PM MASS AT LATE PA KAMI! Took a bath around 5.30 kasi, haha! Indeed, a Filipino family. =))

Holy Monday (God, I hope I got this right)
It's a holiday, my folks are home. PFT. Mom and I just bummed around and watched horror movies on Cinema One! BADUY KUNG BADUY. I was also able to watch my favorite loveteam, ToniSam (promdi ako oy!), You Got Me for the Nth time. :)

Holy Tuesday
Enrollment.. Well, supposedly. I have cursed almost everyone during this day. Uh, sorry.

Holy Wednesday
Was enrolled.. FINALLY.

Maundy Thursday
We were up early, should be off for the visita iglesia. Since we did not go to Bicol or somewhere else and I wasn't allowed to go to Antipolo, we just visited churches along our city and in Laguna. St. Peregrine & yung church ng Muntinlupa; Sto. Sepulcro, Sto. Rosario and yung church sa Binan and Sta. Rosa -- it's so nice to be back. Love, promdigerl.Then, we went to Tagaytay. Dropped at Lourdes & "meriendinner" at Bag Of Beans. I'll be posting my cute pictures once I get the mc from my Tita. ;)

Good Friday
I did a lot of reflection. HAHA. Seriously, ginawa kong retreat house ang banyo! Chill ako dun, tapos nagisip. Oh diba, now my head is clear of distractions and worries. You should try that, it's a bit hot in there though. I was able to watch ToniSam again, that made me happy.

And I must update the Black Saturday and Easter episode tomorrow! Well, hopefully. I have internet restrictions, sorry. :)

Oh kamon!

I really am having a hard time managing accounts. Weeks ago, I deleted my Friendster. Just now, I find myself cancelling Plurk too. :D For two "nice" reasons:
1. My plurk shall be updated everyday for me not to I end up with zero karma. BUT I can no longer use our computer and I can never get my hands on my Mom's laptop. My last resort would be the computer shop. Most definitely, I won't do that on a daily basis because I was never a fan of boys shouting around me and the stinky smell I get from those crowded rooms. I also won't waste 15++ bucks just for cheap thrill over the internet. Oh kamon.
2. PLURK IS BORING, kamon face it.

How come these networking sites get boring day by day? Multiply's on the way. For the record, I only keep this for the sake of file storage and memories! Cheesy, haha.

Thank God, Facebook was invented. Add me, ho.
CLICK!

Very familial :)

Talking to my parents was never easy; but I made my way through it.

I was given enough space for explanation and right extent for my atonement. I never pictured in my mind that Mom would sympathize. The thought of leaving UST made my blood run cold; I was scared. By happy chance, I will not be leaving, I will not shift. I AM GOING TO STAY and it's all because of their faith in me. I will no longer betroth; I will just do my best and strive to reach the top especially now that I was given another shot. I am forever grateful, really.

"I just thought that, the best thing that you can do is to learn from those mistakes. Sometimes, you have to experience failures just to learn what is right. How I wish you don’t have to learn it the hardest way. But, I just would like to consider it as a reality of life. I’m really hoping that you’ll try harder this time." - Mom

Not to forget my dad, definitely. Our first conversation never really turned out great; his mediocre statement even made me weaker and pushed me to my limits. "Iistorbohin mo ako dahil dyan? Magpapahinga na ako" *yeowch* But, it turns out that he has something nice to say too. I despise myself for having doubts if he truly loves me.. I should have never faltered my father's love. Because I know he does, he truly does.

"I'm not mad but I want you to strive more. You got to learn your lesson from it and try harder if you want to fulfill your dreams." - Dad

Family quarrels have a total asperity unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of twang. A pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, a sweetness behind the bitterness. I have a tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb I climb out on will still be there later for me to climb back. When all is said and done, I still return to my family, the one where I belong veritably. Despite the problems that have passed, I am glad that they stayed with me.
Oh God, I love my family. :)

Happy April Fools!

I never had the chance to play high jinks on my friends today. But if you'd consider my "Maglalayas Attempt" a caper.. I can say, at least I had one. While on the subject, I figured that I must impart a summary respecting that matter.

I wasn't able to sleep soundly.
> 10.38, I called Eunice and did spit the problem out.
> Around 12, I kissed my mother goodnight.
> 1-2 AM, I was still online trying to make a de rigueur journal entry.
> 2.30-ish, went to my room.. Stared at the silhouette of the sky with the hopes of finding the right words to divulge what I truly feel. Apparently, the answers weren't written under the stars.
> Almost 3.15, I made a draft of my letter but wasn't successful. Seems like the words are having a chaos on my head.
> 4 in the morning, I found myself staring at my Mother.. Wondering what she might feel the moment she finds out that I didn't go home. That I decided to go to my fly-by-night father. That it's not her whom I first ran into.
I came up with the best inference: Mom would get hurt.
> 5AM, I tried calling my best friend. Unfortunately, I didn't get any answer.

Then, I decided to sleep.

I failed to remember that I have to go to school the next day. Good thing my Loving Mother woke me up (it's just to give me allowance for the day).

As I was dressing up, I caught myself stuck in between two choices. Still being uncertain, I packed up clothes (just in case) for my summer getaway. But here's the funny thing, I ONLY PACKED CLOTHES FOR ONE NIGHT! That means, I really have to go home right away. HAHAHA. *Anong klaseng paglalayas ito?* Plus! I'd just go to my father's house and even planned telling my whereabouts to Mom. In the end I realized, what's the point of all this running away lunacy? When everyone else knows where I'll be going. HAHA. Another zany idea right tharr :D

Obviously, I dint do it. That's the Happy April Fool's part.

Being truly clever, I came up with the best idea to break it to Mom. Go to her office (the place where no one can ever hurt me!) and bring a trusty companion (in that case, she won't be able to say bad things). I invited Eunice to tag along -- for the record, it was an all expense paid trip plus dinner. *Kawawa ako* But then, it became more powerhouse because of her support. I LOVE YOU EUNICE REPONTE! Yeah, as if you have a Multiply to view this but whatever.

I somehow considered our conversation a bed of roses for two reasons:
1. Mom was able to understand me because of Eunice's "mahirap po talaga Chem" dialogues.
2. Mom allowed me to shift because.. Ah, she just wanted me to.

I just hope the post conversation will turn out great. Help me, God.

Hello Blogspot

What? I have no time to update. Duh.

28- Family Day
29- My folks are home so I can't use the "family" computer. Loser laptop's with my Mom *sniff*
30- MY PARENTS DINT GO TO WORK. How awesome was that? Ohsht.

Anyway, I have a posted blog entry on Multiply so there's no more a need to put it here. Two journal accounts could really be so tiring.

But to give you a taste of what I'll be doing..
MAGLALAYAS AKO TOMORROW. That's my craziest idea by farrrrrr!
Wish me luck! ;)